Polyamory in the News
. . . by Alan M.



December 17, 2014

In hours, Buzzfeed's Ask-a-Poly video shoots past 1 million views.


A three-minute video titled "Ask a Polyamorous Person" went up on Buzzfeed late last night. In the 11 hours since, it has had 837,138 views on Facebook and 227,014 on YouTube. At this rate, it will surpass the daily circulation of the New York Times (1.8 million) by the end of the day. (Update: Not quite; by midnight it was 1.6 million.)



I'm impressed that the four people who Buzzfeed rounded up did such a fine Poly 101. Thank you. (If you're reading this, I'd love your comments on how the video came about!)

The bandwagon is rolling out of control now, but so far it's still heading in a good direction: carrying the basic concepts of modern ethical polyamory, with honest communication and respect and caring among all involved, to a wide audience.

Deep thanks to everyone who worked hard over the years, when the bandwagon was barely moving at all, to point it carefully in this direction in the faith that it might someday take off. You can be proud.

-------------------------------

Transcript of the video, courtesy of Aby Miau on Facebook:


Erin Judge:
SO, IS EVERY SEXUAL EXPERIENCE AN ORGY?

Erin Judge:
*laughs*
Yes. I'm so exhausted.

Gaby Dunn:
No, you know how hard it is to plan an orgy?

Steve Aleck:
And orgies are not that common - I've been to one, and most of the time I spent there was in the corner eating oreos...


***Titlecard:***
Buzzfeed presents - Ask a polyamorous person about relationships

A polyamorous person is often defined as someone in multiple romantic relationships

We asked fans to send up questions they'd like to ask a polyamorous person

Here are a few of them
***************

Steve Aleck:
WHY ISN'T ONE PERSON ENOUGH?

Steve Aleck:
By that logic you should only have to have one friend.

Erin Judge:
I have friends who I'm just Facebook friends with, and friends who I would pick up from jail. It's not that one person isn't enough, it's that lots of people fascinate me.

~~~
Kate Loree:
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN POLY AND CHEATING?

Erin Judge:
The difference between poly and cheating is that cheating is a violation of the relationship.

Kate Loree:
Polyamory is all about consensual discussion, being on the same page..

Erin Judge:
..make out with somebody else, that's part of the deal.

Kate Loree:
It's not about betrayal. It couldn't be any [more] different.

~~~
Steve Aleck:
IS IT DUE TO YOUR RELIGION?

Steve Aleck:
You're thinking of polygamy.

~~~
Kate Loree:
DOES IT BOTHER YOU THAT SOME PEOPLE DON'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN POLYAMORY AND POLYGAMY?

Kate Loree:
Most definitely that bothers me. Polygamy, for the most part, one - is a legal term, two - is more linked to religion, it's more about the man and some subservient women. Polyamory is egalitarian - everyone has a voice.

~~~
Erin Judge:
WHAT'S THE BIGGEST TOOL TO HELP POLYAMORY WORK?

Steve Aleck:
Communication.

Erin Judge:
To being honest - you have to talk about what you think, how you feel.

Kate Loree:
Love and compassion comes first.

~~~
Kate Loree:
IS NON-MONOGAMY NORMAL?

Kate Loree:
I think the question really is, is monogamy normal? We can choose to be monogamous, just like we can choose to be vegetarian, but as Doctor Ryan says.. it doesn't mean the bacon won't still smell good. It's ok to be non-monogamous as long as you do it in an ethical way that doesn't betray anyone.

~~~
Kate Loree:
HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH JEALOUSY?

Erin Judge:
In seriousness, jealousy is something we all deal with. We're jealous of people in our industry, sometimes we're jealous of people in our family.. but for some reason we consider sexual jealousy to be this insurmountable problem, and it's not..

Kate Loree:
Another thing that can help with jealousy is meeting any of your partner's potential partners. We blow up in our mind what they're like, we think they're a supermodel, or they're somebody that's out to get us..

Steve Aleck:
I want great experiences for my partner, and if that includes a different lover then I'm ok with that.

~~~
Erin Judge:
DOES IT BOTHER YOU THAT PEOPLE JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND?

Erin Judge:
I am a bisexual, plus-sized nightclub entertainer who grew up with two mums in Texas. I find it's best not to worry what other people think.

~~~
Gaby Dunn:
DO YOU HAVE ANY ADVICE FOR YOUR POLYAMOROUS PEOPLE?

Gaby Dunn:
My advice is to be honest, no matter what. Don't pretend to be chill with things you're not chill with just because you want to be "cool" or poly.

Kate Loree:
Reach out to different resources, and just educate yourself. Take your instincts past just what you think is right and really listen to people who have done this for a long time.

Erin Judge:
Figure out who you are, and stay true to it. Don't try to change, and don't try to change other people.


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3 Comments:

Blogger Douglas Moran said...

Of course polyamory isn't for everyone, but I honestly believe that many people out there suspect--maybe even at a level below the conscious--that having monogamy as the only acceptable relationship option is too limiting and restricting. The huge number of views gives one a sense of a million people breathing a collective sigh of relief and thinking, "I knew there were other possibilities! Why didn't someone tell me about this stuff sooner?"

Of course, I could just be projecting. :)

December 17, 2014 1:11 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Poly n proud right here

December 17, 2014 2:58 PM  
Blogger Maiyim said...

great brief lil interview. So straight forward. Loved it! Thanks for posting Alan - I missed it on the buzz, kinda layin low for a while

December 24, 2014 4:09 PM  

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